Several years ago, I broke the Goose’s heart. I had a brief affair during our marriage, didn’t come clean for several months, and when I did, we fell into disrepair. After six months, the Goose filed for divorce, and in the yearlong aftermath, while I dated the affair guy, the Goose sent me long disparaging text messages, ignored me at kids’ events and told me he hoped the affair guy died of a long, painful disease. The Goose looked through my mail and did a full-on character assassination to our family and friends.
Because I chose to have the affair, which destroyed my family, and I deeply regret, I felt like the Goose had every right to unleash his anger. I didn’t threaten him with no contact orders, restraining orders, or police reports. He told our son the affair guy was a bad person, and looking back, he was right. Anyone who’s married and has an affair with another married person needs to take a long hard look at the decisions they’re making.
Five years ago, long after the affair guy and I had broken up, (we lasted 15 months) the Goose had no girlfriend, and we had a brief reconciliation. He called it off with no reason, but I suspected it was out of fear and lack of trust. He came to my house drunk one night and made a snide comment about my affair. Not long after that, the Goose stopped talking to me all together. Later, he would tell me he stopped loving me in 2014.
18 months ago, the Goose and I started talking again. We scheduled monthly nights out to drink beers, have a meal, and chat. Four months in, he kissed me and invited me back into his life physically. For the following six months, we hung out more, talked a lot about our failed relationship, and even went to couples therapy. I was hopeful. Our three kids said we’d created our own Parent Trap.
In July of last year, the Goose started pulling away with no explanation. In August he reconnected with a woman he hadn’t seen since high school. (She was still living with her husband, 7 hours away, with three kids under 10, and a pending divorce because of an affair and erratic behavior.) She told the Goose they were soul mates. The Goose didn’t tell me for a month and a half that he had been spending every weekend with the woman. When he did admit it, I called him a mother frogger and left his house. In October, she was removed from her home by the local police.
Since the Goose confessed his relationship, we have had dozens of arguments over text, phone, and email. The Goose has threatened legal action against me for telling his GF he must love her more than he loves me. He told me to butt out of his business, and basically told me I am crazy because I challenged the red flags on the relationship. Move on, he said. It’s as though the six months we spent together never happened. And all of the rotten things the Goose said to me during my red-flag filled relationship have vanished from his memory.
Only three people in my life tell me not to give up on the Goose. He divorced me, reached out, rejected me, reached out again, and rejected me. It’s as though he broke my heart three times. If the Goose and his girlfriend end up working out, getting over him will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It seems so unfair. And yet, some might argue karma is giving me exactly what I deserve. Not sure the broken families deserve as much.